Have you ever met someone who starts blaming everybody around them when something bad happens? Some people just don’t like to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their life, and it can get pretty tiresome to be around a blamer for long periods of time. If you get tired of the blaming behavior, here are so things you can say to get your message across loud and clear.

Top Ten Comebacks for  a Blamer

1. If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?
2. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
3. No one is coming to save you. This life of yours is 100% your responsibility.
4. Take responsibility for your actions. You only look like a fool when trying to blame other people for your behavior.
5. When you blame others you give up your power to grow.
6. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
7. If you’re tired of a drama in your life, just quit being the actor.
8. You give yourself credit for your happiness and accomplishments, yet you have a list of people to blame for your bitterness and failures.
9. When people point fingers at others they should remember that they have four fingers pointing back at them.
10. Reap what you sow and own it!

Top Ten Comebacks for People who Keep bothering You

Dealing with annoying people is an inevitable part of life.There will be times you need to stand up for yourself and times when it is better to walk away, after all you don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. Here are some snappy comebacks to let the person know you just want to be left alone.

1. Please do not disturb I am disturbed enough already.
2. Go away, I’m too sober to deal with you.
3. Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.
4. How do I block you in real life?
5. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
6. Sometimes you have to burn some bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
7. No…you’re not bothering me. In fact, I stopped listening to you about 10 minutes ago!
8. If you’re not even slightly offended by what I have to say, I am obviously being way too subtle.
9. Don’t think of it as good bye. Think of it as a chance to stop bothering me.
10. Please go away I’m introverting.

Have you ever spent time with somebody who gets all wound up over the smallest things? It is hard to be around an angry person who lashes out when they get upset, and can’t control themselves. The comebacks below will let the offender know they need to get their act together and calm down.

1. Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it only makes you walk funny.
2. Calm down. Take a deep breath and then hold it for about twenty minutes.
3. You can’t control the things that happen to you, but you can control your reaction to them.
4. When shit happens make fertilizer.
5. Every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.
6. Control your emotion or it will control you.
7. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it..
8. Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.
9. Chuck it in the f*ck it bucket and move on.
10. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

Do you know someone who always has something to complain about? They go on about the morons they have to work with, their crazy family and of course they are never accountable for being part of the problem. Hell no, it’s everyone else’s fault!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want t hear it, I just don’t care. If someone wants to wallow in their own misery, they can do it on their own. Here are some snappy comebacks that will let the complainer know they need to take their complaints elsewhere.

1. Stop complaining. Everyone who died yesterday thinks you’re one lucky son of a bitch.
2. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.
3. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
4. You can’t litter negativity everywhere and wonder why you have a trashy life.
5. Stop complaining about things you’re not willing to work hard to change.
6. I wish I could put some people on mute.
7. The biggest disability is a negative attitude.
8. I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.
9. Be responsible for the energy you bring,
10. What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.

When you meet a rude stranger it can be hard to find the right comeback. You want to tell them where to go, but you don’t want to instigate a huge argument that won’t end well. You never know how someone is going to react. Here are a few comebacks to let the person know that they are a jerk, without turning them in to a crazed revengeful lunatic.

1. Did you mean to be so rude?
2. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
3. I wish I could put some people on mute.
4. Is your drama going to have an intermission soon?
5. If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
6. You would argue with a fence post.
7. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
8.  Really, you know what that sounds like? Not my problem!
9. Try being informed instead of being opinionated.
10. You’re rude, crude and full of attitude.

Some people think they are just being proud, when in reality they come across as boastful and over the top when they brag about their every accomplishment. Even worse, are the people who are constantly showing off on Facebook. If their bragging exceeds the limit beyond which you can put up with, here are a few snappy comebacks to stop the bragger in their tracks.

1. Do you ever get off Facebook long enough to live the life you keep bragging about?
2. Why don’t you show more confidence and less arrogance.
3. Being humble shows how confident you are, bragging only shows how insecure you pretend not to be.
4. Wow, I bet you even fart glitter.
5. May your life be as great as you pretend it is on Facebook.
6. No matter how big your car is, how recent your car is, or how big your bank account is our graves will always be the same size. Stay humble.
7. I love hearing you show off.
8. I just want to let you know it’s possible to do X, and not brag about it on Facebook.
9. If you are really good at something you don’t have to brag about it yourself. Other people will do that for you.
10. I call bullshit!

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when a friend is continually copying you it can be beyond annoying. If the copycat wants to try to emulate everything you do there is nothing you can do to stop them, but you might want to stop sharing what your next move is and distance yourself.

Here are few snappy comebacks to let them know that you are on to their copycat ways.

1. It’s called originality, you should try it sometime.
2. Be yourself, everyone is already taken.
3. Maybe if you got your own life you wouldn’t fail so miserably to trying to copy mine.
4. You were born an original don’t die a copy.
5. Bitch, don’t copy my style.
6. Be yourself, an original is always worth more than a copy.
7. Be a voice, not an echo.
8. You can copy me but you can’t be me.
9. You can copy all you want but you’ll always be one step behind.
10. Live up to your own potential instead of copying someone else’s

If you have ever had someone meddle in your life you know how frustrating it can be! Interfering parents and friends can cause serious problems in your life and relationships. Clearly, these individuals have boundary issues and they need to learn to be respectful and back off.

Here are some snappy comebacks to let the meddler know you they need to stop interfering immediately.

1. Maybe you should get your own life and stop interfering in mine.
2. Next time I need an unsolicited and uninformed opinion I will know where to go.
3. If you’re not feeding me, F&#%ing me or putting the roof over my head, it’s really none of your business.
4. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
5. My life, my mistakes, my choices. Not your business!
6. My business isn’t your business. Unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my ass.
7. If you are going to have opinions about my life than I can assume you will be paying some of my bills.
8. You must have everything in your life figured out because you obviously have time to meddle in mine.
9. It’s never too late to shut up and mind your own business.
10. You can tell whose miserable in their own life because they have nothing better to do than meddle in yours!

 More top ten comeback lists you might like

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Do you have a hypocrite in your life, someone who conveniently forgets their own faults while happily pointing out yours? Hypocrites have one set of standards for themselves and different standards for you. These snappy comebacks will let the hypocrite in your life know that you are on to them, and are not interested in putting up with their double standard.

1. I think it’s funny that the people that treat you like shit get offended when you do the same to them.
2. Well aren’t you just a shiny little hypocrite polished in bullshit!
3. People in glass houses should not throw stones, they should sit down and shut the F*** up!
4. You need to get off your high horse and look at yourself first!
5. It’s always the one with the dirty hands pointing the finger.
6. Actions prove who someone is, words just prove who they want to be.
7. No, of course I don’t think you are a total hypocrite for preaching about the same shit you are guilty of doing…
8. You are what you do, not what you say you will do.
9. If I treated you, the way you treated me, you would hate me.
10. It’s easier to see the wrong in other people’s lives, than in your own life. Don’t judge.

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We have all met a jerk who makes every situation difficult and  never sees that they are the problem. You don’t have to try to win over the haters; after all, you are not the jerk whisperer. If you get tired of putting up with the jerk and their nasty behavior, here are a few snappy comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

1. Jesus loves you but everyone thinks you’re a jerk.
2. Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
3. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither
4. The jerk store called, they’re running out of you.
5. I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I wouldn’t do as well as nature did.
6. You’re the reason nobody likes you.
7. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
8. Your dick belongs in your pants, not your personality.
9. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
10. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

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Do you have difficulty saying no to people? Saying no can be challenging, especially when you don’t want to disappoint someone close to you. There are also pests who refuse to take no for an answer, and come back at you trying for a yes.

Here are some funny ways to say “no” that should get your point across.

Awesome ways to say no

1. No means no now let it go.
2. I never do X on days that end in “Y.”
3. I would rather stick needles in my eyes. Or your eyes.
4. What part of the word no do you not understand?
5. A yes would be the slow withering death of my soul.
6. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
7. No, I’m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. I no longer do things that make me want to kill myself.
9. I’d rather remove my own gallbladder with an oyster fork.
10. Hell, no!

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In life you’ll encounter controlling people who are manipulative and difficult to deal with. Being controlling is their issue; they were that way before you showed up on the scene.

Here are some snappy comebacks to let the controlling person know that you are not interested in being controlled or told what to do.

1. If I was meant to be controlled I’d come with a remote.
2. You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now.
3. I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me.
4. There is nothing wrong with being a control freak if your controlling your words, behaviour and attitude.
5. I’m going to need you to turn down your psycho for just a bit.
6. I find it curious how people who have no self-control and respect for your feelings are the same people who demand self-control for you.
7. Everyone has a right to an opinion, and I have a right not to listen to it.
8. Go find someone else to control because you are not controlling me.
9. When you try to control everything you enjoy nothing.
10. People often forget that it is your own choice of how you want to spend the rest of your life.

Do you know someone who has double standards and demands they are treated a certain way, yet they do the complete opposite. It can be hard to win with this type of manipulative person; here are a few comebacks to let them know you are on to their nasty ways.

1. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out.
2. Oh, you’re mad at me for doing that, but if you did it that would be OK…
3. The only thing worse than a liar is a liar who is also a hypocrite.
4. Oh, how double standard of you.
5. So what you’re saying is you don’t like me treating you the way you treat me. How interesting.
6. Don’t get mad when I pull a you on you.
7. If you state your opinion it’s free speech, but if I state mine it’s hate and intolerance. Right…
8. No, of course I don’t think you are a total hypocrite for preaching about the same shit you are guilty of doing…
9. f I treated you the way you treat me you would hate me.
10. I’m sorry, double standards don’t work for me.

More comebacks you might like

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• To read more answers to rude comments click here.

There is nothing worse than a bully; a bully is really a coward, who gangs up with others to torment people. May all the bad karma that bullies inflict on others come back and bite them in the ass.

1. Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
2. Thank you for your brilliant portrayal of a self centered asshole in the movie of my life.
3. It’s impressive that you’re flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and head up your ass at the same time.
4. You should really come with a warning label.
5. Breaking news just in: You’re an asshole!
6. I finally got the last knife of the set you’ve been stabbing in my back all these years. Heads up: I re gift.
7. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you a sociopath. I thought you already knew.
8. Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
9. Thanks for teaching me how sick and cruel a person can be.
10. Since narcissistic is too big a word for you. How about asshole? Do you understand asshole?

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Manipulators try to achieve their goals by persuading others to do what they want by indirectly influencing someone else’s behavior or actions. A manipulative person can take a real toll on your life. Here are a few snappy comebacks you can say to let the manipulator know you are on to them.

1. If I was meant to be controlled I’d come with a remote.
2. Sociopath, narcissist, pathological liar, manipulator: I am not calling you names. I am describing you.
3. When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help.
4. Selfish…delusional… manipulative and hypocritical. OMG I can’t believe you are still single.
5. Go away, I’m allergic to manipulative people.
6. I’m still trying to decide if you are a sociopath who means well or a master manipulative douche bag.
7. You. Cut out that egocentric manipulative bullshit now.
8. Thanks for reminding me why I don’t feel guilty that I can’t stand you.
9. You should really stop concerning yourself with my business and worry about your horrible personality and petty manipulative ways.
10. Wait, come back. You forgot your bullshit.

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Do you know someone who is always putting other people down? Next time they insult you, be ready for them by remembering one of these snappy comebacks.

1. Those penis enlargement pills are working. You are twice the dick you were yesterday.
2. I’d like to see your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
3. Oh, you think you know everything? Well here is something you don’t know, you’re annoying.
4. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
5. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
6. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you already have one.
7. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
8. In order for you to insult me I would have to value your opinion. Nice try though.
9.  If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go fuck yourself.
10. I farted… that’s as close as you’re going to get to me giving a shit.

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If someone slays you with a comeback, here are a few snappy things you can say as a response.

1. I can eat alphabet soup and shit out a better reply than that.
2. I’ve heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette’s.
3. Your death with probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.
4. Quit trying to be a smart ass when you are just an ass.
5. How long did it take you to come up with that one?
6. No. No. I am listening; it just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
7. I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.
8. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
9. Your village called. They said they lost their idiot.
10. You’re comeback was so stupid it didn’t even comeback.

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We have all been taught we shouldn’t talk about people behind their backs, but some people can’t seem to help themselves and constantly talk negatively about others. Do you have a friend who gossips about you or other people? If you get tired of being contaminated by their poison, and want the person to stop, here are a few things you can say to let the gossip know that you don’t want any part of it.

1. If you have a problem with me, tell me, not everyone else.
2. It doesn’t bother me that you talk about me behind my back. What bothers me is you don’t get all your facts right.
3. What’s that? You heard a bunch of shit about me from someone who hates me? That shit MUST be true!
4. If it’s not your story to tell don’t tell it.
5. I never judge someone by the opinion of another.
6. If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, or see it with your own eyes. Don’t invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
7. Rumours, carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by the ignorant.
8. Those who gossip to you will gossip about you.
9. Rumours, I found cut so much about myself didn’t’ even know
10. If it doesn’t involve you it shouldn’t concern you.

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We’ve all met the pushy person who keeps coming at you and won’t back off. Pushy people can be exasperating and exhausting to be around. If the pushy individual doesn’t get the hint, here are some snappy comebacks you can use on to get your point across.

Top ten comebacks for pushy people

1. What part of NO do you not understand?
2. I never do X on days that end in “Y.”
3. No means no, now let it go.
4. You go girl! And don’t comeback!
5. Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again.
6. Does your X pay you some sort of recruiting bonus or are you just this pushy normally?
7. Did you mean to be so pushy?
8. There will always be some that don’t understand the word “no.”
9. Thanks for your 2 cents but I’ll give you a quarter to shut up.
10. And now I’ll do what’s best for me.

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Have you ever had to deal with someone who is manipulative and loves to cause trouble? Troublemakers like to stir up controversy by spreading gossip and starting rumours about people, then they turn around and act all innocent claiming they were only trying to help the situation.

Here are a few snappy comebacks to let the troublemaker know you are on to them and their manipulative behavior.

Top ten comebacks a troublemaker

1. Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
2. Don’t tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable saying it around you.
3. I see you brought your extra large spoon to stir up trouble.
4. You don’t like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you!
5. I  am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
6. Stop creating a drama and then complaining about it.
7. It is a actually pretty easy not to be a shitty human being.Try it sometime.
8. So, let me get this straight, you talk shit about me then you make it into MY problem when I say something.
9. If drama follows you wherever you go. Maybe you are the drama.
10. I hope one day you choke on all the shit you talk.

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